take seventeen.

yeah yeah yeah, it is what it is. all these things reoccur every so often, each a little more or less painful then the last, it fluctuates. why? i couldn't tell you. love/hate when i remember the times how you mutter those words under your breathe along with the strings you pluck on your guitar loudly, keeping satisfied because you rest well in knowing i cannot hear them. what the words are, isn't what matters here. it's how you do it. love/hate it is what it is. how your poor brother had to spend the last eight years hearing us scream, play and say how much we hate each other but physically display the exact opposite. so juvenile. and always so appropriate. never get to close. get close then run away. get close and pretend its nothing. take it easy, love nothing, thats what we're doing right? love/hate it is what it is. it is how it seemed the story had been finished when we first decided to make lives on what often seems like opposite ends of the world, but there was my birthday phone call. you never miss those. a fictional character said it best "And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses." and its kind of just like that. and on this blog i've written seventeen times over, i've listed different memories that have been made since we were twelve and continuing unto today, the ones that could make just about anyone say aww. but that proof here is no longer necessary. it is what it is. and i still hate to love you. 

break up. break down. drink up. fool around. meet one guy. then another. fuck around. forget the one and only.

the only love i want to feel or see is the love i have in the loose ties and frayed ends of my friends. the love i have for growing as a human, the love i have for the mistakes i make and appreciate. the love i will see in the world that i am a part of. no pressure. no worries. no lies. just love :)